How I learned not to cry over an onion peel (lessons learned in layers)

Hello beautiful ones, thanks again for joining me on this little journey we call life. Like the big boat that sets us adrift, we find when we are in it together, life becomes just a bit easier. I thank you for being here with me. If you could see my big smile, you would smile too. Today, or should I say yesterday I learned something new. I think that is a great thing as one of my challenges to myself is to spend at least a minimum of 15 minutes each day learning something new. I picked up a highly recommended book and delved in with relish. Once I was able to focus and pay attention I was able to absorb alot from it. The tale I am about to tell you stems from a lesson I am learning and if you can relate, then that is just so very awesome.
So, I had quite the busy day, doing laundry, doing dishes not once, but twice. Cooked breakfast, folded a heck of alot of shirts that I will be selling at a garage sale and I felt good. I felt productive. I was the Queen of the world. Then I saw it. Right there on my very floor a few feet away from where I stood. I huge onion peel. Now I am not talking about a little sliver but it looked like an entire onion. So I think to myself, I know I wasn’t doing anything with onions today but I knew who was. So why was this onion peel challenging me on the floor like a snarling chihuahua? I did what any self respecting woman would do and I stepped over it. I was proving a point. I am not the mother who needs to pick up after anyone other than myself and I’ll be Gosh darned if I was about to pick it up. It sat there for an hour. Then another hour. People walked by it. NO ONE PICKED IT UP! Truly, it is so. And I got angry, carrying on this dialogue with myself in my head and then it happened.
I stopped. I-Just-Stopped. I told that little voice in my head “I hear you in there, you’re working me up over an onion peel. An ONION Peel…..really? Why?” and heard silence for a few moments and then that old voice went right back on it’s tirade. Why do I have to pick it up? Why am I expect to clean up the mess? And then I said it again out loud this time. Just STOP! I said it quite quietly too and then turned the dialogue around and asked myself Why? Why was I really getting upset over this HUGE piece of skin of an onion on my floor? and then it dawned on me like the most glorious sunrise. I was angry because I thought by someone else being irresponsible, it must mean that they must see me as the maid. They are above me, they are too good to pick it up themselves. You see, I’ve always done it, been the one to bend over and pick that shit up. They want the maid to do it. But I’m not the maid and I need to stop treating myself in my head like I am. I make a choice because I can. I will not be swayed by my perception of what anyone else thinks, which is often not the case, I just felt that way in my head and turned that chattter box off. And it made me feel so strong to realize that it was because I was telling myself in my own head that, go ahead, it’s what you do, it’s always this way. I am not being respected. Yet in that moment I respected myself, and then I did something even more amazing. I Let It Go. Yep, just reached down and picked it up and when throwing it in the trash said “I am not going to let my perceptions of what others think mar my enjoyment of my day”. I know you’re probably thinking why did you pick it up then? I picked it up because I told myself that I am the better person for doing so. I told my inner critic that this in the big scheme of things mean nothing if I don’t let those nagging voices nag me anymore. I felt calm. I smiled inside. I was just a person doing what she’s choosing to do and that’s what is different. I am not going to belittle myself anymore. I am not going to mentally cower over someone else being a jerk ass. I am strong. I can stand up to myself and I can stand up to anything this world throws at me. I won’t be mean to me anymore. Life is going to be filled with challenges and another was thrown at me again this morning and you know what? I started to feel my heart beat faster, I started to get edgy over a roll of the eyes and a snarky comment. I turned it off. I DID NOT CARE. It didn’t have anything to do with me. I can only control my own reactions to things and my reaction was to just stop that voice that was rushing around like a squirrel after a shiny marble and I let the calm wash over me. I am having an amazing day. I am noticing more things that before would have gotten me to feeling insecure. It isn’t about me. It’s about the voice that wants me to feel a certain way by giving in and I’m not going to. Shut the F up you little voice, ’cause I’ve got your number and things are gonna be a lot quieter around here now. There’s a new sheriff in town and she is Wonder Woman so don’t mess with her ’cause she knows who’s in charge. She saw her in the mirror just this morning and I heard her say, “Hellllooooo there gorgeous” and I am.
Lessons learned in case you were wondering was from an amazing life transforming book called the Untethered Soul and it was written by Michael A. Singer. I recommend it and I am only on chapter three but man, is it ever working and I can’t wait for chapter four. Peace and love to you my friends, and don’t forget, spend some time each day learning something new. Maybe you’ll even learn something new about yourself and that would be most awesome.


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