Tag Archives: trars

Triggers of tears-(and not the equine variety)

Hello most amazing people and welcome to Tuesday. I’ve been stumped lately on a variety of things and I am really not quite sure why. I saw an article about the closing of the Roy Rogers museum and it made me wonder what is to become of Trigger. Now I realize for a lot of you Roy was before your time but I had grandparents who made me sit and watch the movies and shows with them and that is where I fell in love with palominos. I wanted one so bad. Later I was told poor trigger was stuffed and put in the museum and all I could think of was WTF? Who would do such a thing? And now with the closing, where is he going? It made me teary eyed at the thought of relics from the past being absently chucked or forgotten. Nothing lasts forever and this I know well. But why get tears eyed over a stuffed horse that probably has its fur molting off in chunks? Maybe it was the moon? I just finished a lovely lunch in the cafeteria. I was perusing my reader and a woman won a car on the price is right(the lunch show of choice for the masses). She was just so excited jumping up and down and I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel the tears welling up.

Geesh…..enough already. I am not one to cry easily and here I get the waterworks swimming in my eyes over perfect strangers. But maybe it’s the energy of things. When people feel emotion it gets carried through in the form of action. Anger, fear, happiness….most of the time you can tell from body language. Obviously if I won a million I’d be jumping up and down crying and you would say, “now that is one happy chickie”, or memories that brought joy (old Cowboys and horses) and their fall from favor due to technology and times that seem no longer relevant. Reading words, seeing body language, hearing tones of voice…..I guess it’s all about the same…energy moving, cause and effect. Sadness emits tears, as does anger and happiness. It is all a part of the whole. So why am I writing about this? Because I felt foolish. Because I sat there holding back my tears for fear of looking like a goofy dolt eating watermelon and sopping up the tears. I mean really, would anyone really truly give a crap?

 But I was afraid. I didn’t want to be laughed at. I didn’t want to be seen in an unhealthy light At work and that is where the problem is. Why? By suppressing The feelings we have, we kill ourselves, albeit slowly but those little things denied leave us defeated and feeling like dried up broken shells. We block the natural flow of things. By trying to fit in, we become like the little lemmings jumping off the cliff. We are paper cutouts of dolls. Oh we may look different but we are the same. Maybe the girl at the table next to me felt the same way, hiding tears of joy for a stranger winning a car. Maybe not. But I walked away feeling slightly fake, like I played my part like everyone else and shelved the feelings. I am not okay with that. I always admire people who can let it all hang out and be themselves. I love the people in airports who pick up a loved one and have tears in their eyes at the reunion. It brings tears to my eyes and that energy becomes the joyful thoughts that slip into the universe and keep us all human and connected. Why are we so afraid to be REAL? To let ourselves SHINE? To cry over silly things and even the important things, because after all, isn’t it all kind of important? By saying something in life isn’t important it’s like denying it. I cry. We all cry. I’m sorry my pal Trigger….I hope they find you a nice pasture to bury you in and to the lady who won today, you go girl…I’m crying with you proudly, just because….damn that feels good😀💦

Does anyone have a Kleenex or three? Damn…sold to the highest bidder. Bye Trigger. Sigh

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