You’ve got a friend…(or how to be a Rock Star Super Friend)

Hello again most beautiful ones. Happy Monday too and if you feel so inclined, jump up and down and celebrate the day.
Today we talk about the greatest gifts in life. I could surprise you but after reading the heading I guess I’ve blown that. That’s ok, we’re all friends here, right?
So where to begin on the subject of friends?
I don’t know about you but when I was young my view of a true friend was a relationship somewhat on the level of Snoopy and Woodstock. Best pals, argued occasionally and for the most part did their own thing but enjoyed their time together. I grew up in a small town and really only had one friend up until she moved away. There was no one else close so for the longest time my only friends were found in nature after that. Once we moved to a bigger town I had to readjust to making NEW friends. Now talk about scary. I was shy. I was ugly. No one was going to want to be my friend. So with that as my thinking, guess what I found? Yep, very few friends. I had no faith in who I was. I didn’t feel worthy. Once the teen years hit it became even harder. I gravitated toward any group that would accept me. I set my bar lower and was doing things I wasn’t proud of just to be accepted. Does this sound familiar to you? I still had no faith in ME. The friends I had were not the kinds I needed and so I kept searching. I carried an autograph book around and asked EVERYBODY to sign it. After all, if you gave me your signature it must mean you like me, right? Anything I could get to show the world “LOOK” I’ve got a book of names of my friends. And let me tell you, it was very lonely. Not invited to parties yet within proximity where I could look out my window and see the others having a good time. WOW, talk about depressing. I dove into books. I dove into writing about my “Gasp” feelings, and in doing so found out a little about myself. It took me a few years later and actually changing my thoughts about myself to finally find the right kinds of friends. Friends who loved me for me. Friends who wanted to spend time with me. Friends that made me laugh, as I made them laugh, and most importantly, friends that I could cry with and not feel ashamed. Now that was some heady stuff let me tell you. To open the waterworks and have faith in myself that I am a great person and that I am smart and that I am beautiful. I wore clothes that made me feel beautiful because I was with people who accepted me, cottage cheese thighs or otherwise. I embraced my inner self and this whole world opened up. People were telling me their stories and you know what? They were all like me. I had finally found my Woodstock, my besties, my tribe, my true friends. I believed in myself enough to go through all of the B.S of those “so-called” friends and I could finally soar. I could have it all and be in bliss. Well guess what friends, yes I said it, FRIENDS. You are here reading this (I hope) and taking the journey with me. If you turned away by now that’s ok, I don’t take things personally anymore. As my husband says “there’s an ass for every seat” so I always go with that attitude. Maybe not for everyone but that’s ok.
So, how do you find those friends you’ve been seeking? How do you find those souls who are just like you? Who understand because they’ve walked their journey looking too…how you ask?
You listen. You stop what you are doing and look around you. You will see people around you who others naturally gravitate to. Generally these people are happy and smiling and ENGAGED with the world around them. If you introduce yourself and look into their eyes and with a genuine hello, embrace the moment as if they are already your BFF. You may be surprised that they will engage with you on a new level. It could be a coworker. It could be a person at a neighborhood cookout, but most importantly, you have to have faith in yourself. You have to hold their gaze and not look around. If you can’t look someone in the eye, then you are not present in the moment. You are not exchanging soul. Do you have people you talk to that tend to look away as if they’d rather be elsewhere? Maybe their thoughts are drifting and they’re not really listening…then WHY on this green earth would you waste your precious time on them? Yes, your PRECIOUS time. Spend it on someone who counts. Spend it on someone who wants to be there for you and if there is no one there at any particular time, SPEND it on YOURSELF. You are so worth it. You can be the rock star with a million friends, but the ones that count are the ones who do it with eye contact, with whole-hearted love and understanding and who are engaged with what you have to say. This is Snoopy and Woodstock, an unlikely pair but one that works well with each other but not suffocating each other and they make the world smile with them at the same time. Who is your Woodstock? Who is your Snoopy? When you stop to look around at those in your life, who are those that matter? Let them know. Give them a huge hug or send a letter “just because”. Those are the little things that matter. Oh, and if they hug back just a little harder, thank them and give it right back.
I am not a child anymore. I have acquaintances and I have friends and then I have my Super Rock Star friend BFF’s that are there for me as I am there for them. There’s room for more, I always save space (because the world is a big place) so come on in friend, sit down and we can talk. I can send you a virtual hug and I will listen. You’ve got a friend and we are both worth the time and effort that will go into being fabulous and we will be Rock Stars together….now, let’s get out there and shine like the super stars we are and get this tribe rocking the vibe of Friendship like none other before.
Tell me your thoughts on how you make friends. Do you tend to keep the ones you have just to have somebody? If they serve no purpose except to be able to say you “have one” or do you let them go if you find yourself being used for their purpose and it is not fulfilling yours too? Let me know if you’d like. Learning is a beautiful thing and we can always get by with a little help from our friends.
Peace and blessings.
Kim